The end of a chapter...

The end of a chapter in my life...

Today was my last ever day at school. After 13 long years, I waved goodbye to my school days; 7 brilliant years at Kirkhill Primary and 6 amazing years at Kincorth Academy, those are the days that I'll never forget. Four special mentions, in relation to this; Emma Rezin, Aimee Robertson, Erin Clark and Kristina Melvin. Wondering why I've named these four amazing girls? Well, Emma and Erin have been in my playgroup, nursery, primary and academy ... in total we've spent 15 years together, they are both amazing girls that have never failed to cheer me up. Aimee and Kristina have been in my primary and academy, that in total is 13 years, these two have also never failed to keep me giggling. We have all grown up together and I will truly miss seeing them day in day out. I will miss you four so so much. Not forgetting everyone else that I've spent the last 6 years with; you all have been truly amazing people. Seeing everyone grow up in to fine young adults has been great. Love you all so much. I'll miss everyone so so much.

CLASS OF 2011, I LOVE YOU ALL <3

I'm extremely emotional today and will take the time to blog about everyone that means a lot to me at this current time:

My family:
They are all amazing. They have been the reason I am whom I am today. Without them I'm not sure where I'd be. They keep me smiling. I love you all so dearly.

Katie:
What an amazing girl. So bright, so bubbly and yet so shy. This girl has been my best friend for 6 years. We've had our fair share of arguments but we're learning. I'll miss her when she leaves. I'll have no mother figure to keep me on the straight and narrow when I'm legless. How will I cope? Not very well. Love you too pieces.

Hannah:
My twin. My sister. My best friend. She is amazing. We are so alike it's quite unbelievable. We work together too which is madness. She keeps me smiling. Always there for me when things are right and when things are wrong. She's there. Thank you, girl. Love you too pieces.

Sophie:
She's another best friend of mine. She is amazing. Keeps me smiling. Supplies me drink. And is always there for me. Thank you. Love you.

Laura:
What a great girl. What a great friend. I hardly see her now that she is at college and leading her life separate from us all. We still have good laughs and she is still always there when I need her. Love you.

Lauren:
My blog buddy. This girl is seriously amazing. Got such a big personality and heart. She deserves only the best. I truly believe that she only deserves happiness. She is nothing but a burst of happiness. I truly wish I knew her better. Lauren also gives the best hugs, as I found out today, I will miss this girl too piece. Love you, girl.

Adam:
We aren't particularly close but this boy knows how to cheer me up. He is also always there for me. Wish I knew him better. Love you.

Sean:
My ex. A cunt. An arse. Wish things hadn't turned out the way they did. Loved you too pieces. You're still always there for me. Maybe one day I'll trust you again. Maybe one day I'll except things. Love you, still.

Everyone else:
I love you all. I love everyone. In a very loving mood.

Enough from me, otherwise I'll go on forever.

Much love,
Emma
xxxx

Let the good times roll...

On such a high today; It's May 1st - which means there is not long left until I leave school forever - it's sunny and it's a Sunday where I'm NOT actually working. Delighted.

The past few days have been brilliant. It was Senior Prom on Thursday. Our Prom was held at Ardoe House Hotel; that place is beautiful and their food is fucking amazing better than the shit Thistle made us endure last year. All of my girls were there. I love them too pieces, I'll miss not seeing them everyday at School and as for Katie; I'll miss not seeing her - she's moving down to Edinburgh in August/September to study at Heriot-Watt University, I'm extremely delighted for her but also very gutted that miles will separate me from my best friend but on the plus side it gives me an excuse for a train ride every other weekend - praying that I'm not working or otherwise engaged. Anyhow, I wish her all the best of luck. I also wish my other friends Hannah and Sophie who begin college in September good luck too.

On the note of further education; I begin Summer School on the 20th of June and if successful I will begin my 4 year study of Politics and International Relations at Aberdeen University on the 20th of September. Let the good times roll.

Apart from work and school/education I've not really got much to say...

Well, apart from the fact that I'm happily single again and this time I will not be going back to Sean. Never heard such a perfect lyric to describe thing right now other than from the amazing Taylor Swift "The story of us is looking a lot like a tragedy now". Fortunately or Unfortunately, however you wish to look at it, Sean cheated several times and now the pieces remain and we, as a couple, don't. Taylor Swift has amazing lyrics which were made with girls and relationships in mind. I could list numerous lyrics which describe my current situation and past situations; "It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you. Wishing I'd realised what I had when you were mine". Perfect when it comes to a previous relationship; I thought I was better off without him. I lost possibly the best thing that has ever happened to me because of my stupidity thinking being single would be better. I could go on and on and on about how relevant her lyrics are but I think I'll stop boring everyone.

I shall return ... maybe tomorrow with another blog


Much love,
Emma
xxxx

Bad times

I haven't blogged in weeks. I'm sorry. For those who actually noticed.

I don't have much to say.

Work:
Firstly, I started back at Next about three weeks ago. I love my job, I really do. Some things about it are driving me nuts but at least I'm back. I do love that place, surprisingly. I also love MOST of the people there. Some people do improve my day quite a lot; and for that I thank Paula, Jess, Vicky, Blair, (Steven) Crook and Myron. They are a great bunch of people, we have quite a laugh, we do. I work pretty much everyday but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

School:
I have 6 days left EVER. I couldn't be any happier. I can't wait to just get out into the "BIG BAD WORLD". I really am ready to just get out there and experience new things. A change of scenery will do me the world of good. ALSO, I got accepted into Summer School, Yay?

Friends:
I love them I really do but god help me; they drive me fucking nuts sometimes. Nothing like brutal honesty. It's just a pity not everyone is the same.

I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO SAY BECAUSE IM IN A BAD MOOD.

Enjoy.

Friends... the best creation ever.

I haven't been blogging a lot lately. I'm sorry. I've been busy but also lazy. There hasn't been anything exciting to blog about recently but I'll update everyone on the situation.

It was last day of term on Friday. Which was also my last day of term EVER at Kincorth Academy. Nervous about leaving as the future remains so uncertain. One thing I know for sure is that my family and friends will get me through what ever is to come, I'm sure. I finally finished my English Folio and my Summer School application. Just pray that I get in now. Oh, I'm back with Sean after a few days break :') although he is now in OZ and will remain there until the 28^th of April but I wont see him until the 1^st of May. It's been two days and I'm already finding it difficult without him.

Right... On to a wider topic that involves everyone... Friendship.

At this point, in my life especially, friendship is extremely important. As I've said there is so much uncertainties just now I don't know what the next year holds for me but I do know that what ever is in store for me my friends will see me through it. A special mention to Katie Forbes.

Yes, that's us.

 May I highlight that I am drunk in this picture though. I'm generally not that crazy. Well, that's not exactly true.

 

Katie, she has been my best friend for 6 years. We've had so many laughs some that we STILL laugh at. The incident where she was running from a TINY dog and fell down a muddy hill into a muddy puddle … that happened in first year and I'm still laughing while typing this. More recently, walking along George street in hysterics for NOTHING. More importantly, she has also seen me through me through very rough times. When my mum suffered two strokes, she was there. When my brother was ill and in hospital, she was there. When my dad went into hospital … several times, she was there. She's been there through it all, literally. She's been there while I have been drunk and helped me out. She's been there when I've been happy. She's been there when I've been sad. She's been there. She knows that I'd do the same for her. I have before and I will again.

Everyone has that one friend who has been there through it all. Who they can turn to with anything. Everyone has that best friend, just like the one I've mentioned.

My other friends, although they've not been mentioned are amazing and have seen me through a lot too.

I've not really got much else to say.

Much Love

Emma

xxxx

Back again

I'm going to blog about the things that has had the biggest influence on who I am today. These things would be: my family, friends and "love".

My Family:

They are the mean reason that I've stayed on the right track. My mum and dad have been great parents. They have been pains at times but they have did what they thought was best for me and I'd like to thank them for it. Without them I dread to thing where I'd be. Also, my brother: he is a fucking pain in the arse but without a shadow of a doubt I still love him. He's awesome - he's always up for a good scrap. The only other family member that has had a significant impact is my late Granda. Everything changed the day he died. He was taken suddenly and I'll never forget him. He'll always be my inspiration despite the fact that he wasn't perfect. He's my very own gaurdian angel, or so I hope. I love you guys. ALWAYS.

My friends:

These guys are there for me no matter what.

Katie, Hannah, Laura and Sophie - I thank you guys from the deepest corner of my heart. These guys taught me how to love, live, smile and laugh through all the pain. These pulled me out of my darkest hours. These guys taught me to dance in the rain, to sing my heart out and never let anyone or anything get the better of me. They have taught me how to be a complete tit while drunk and taught me what true friends are like. No matter where we are or what we're doing we always have the best of times. I love you lot so much.

The girls and I. Missing Katie though.

Sean and Ryan. We've had our up and down boys but boy the ups have been damn good. Ryan you kindly split my head about 7 years ago. Thanks. You genuinely made me stronger. You've always been around to pick up the pieces. We've had a few childhood romances but they never went anywhere. I'm glad. I prefer having you as a mate. You're great. You deserve the best. Sean, where do I begin with you. What an actual arse. Yet, one of the best gyuys that I've ever met. We had bloody good times. Your cuddles were always the best. I just wish you hadn't been so stupid but nothing lasts forever. Love you pair.

To all my other friends, I love you guys dearly too.

"Love"

Don't believe that I've ever been in love. Still been extremely close with some people. My two last guys in particular - anon and Sean - they've had the most impact on me recently but both have turned horrible for different reasons. Sean was what I thought the "one" was. But as recent events showed, this isn't the case. We try to work things out but sometimes when something is broken there's no fixing it. I'll miss him regardless though.
The other guy. I haven't forgot him, I just don't want to talk about it. Sometimes something hurts worse than intially expected. Anyone who knows me will know that I'm not a relationship kind of girl. Flirting and no strings attached FTW.

Peace out fuckers
Much love,
Emma
xxxx

It's been far too long.

I've not blogged in about two weeks. To be honest, it's 'cause I had nothing to blog about ... I still don't.

I've had a rather busy couple of weeks: Been at school and out, never really had to time to get round to blogging but thought I'd do it just now - while I had a spare hour or two.

Not much is changed with me apart from Sean and I's relationship has ended. Orginally, I left him 'cause I had insercurities and compared it far too much to me ex but turns out that he cheated on me. Cunt. I'll get over it though. People ask "are you ok?" well, ofcourse I'm not. I miss him. I wish I things hadn't worked out this way but they did and I just need to accept that. I'll move on, I'm in the process. Do I still love him or someone else? No, I don't. I never did truly love him. I don't know the meaning of the word. Is there someone else? Not really. Yeah I flirt with quite a few guys but nine times out of ten that's all that it is. 

Almost leaving school ... I am delighted. Nervous 'cause of the change but greatful to finally be leaving. Moving on to bigger and better things. I'm going to miss so many people though. 
But, they'll make it to my future if they were supposed to. I believe in fate.

Also, got invited to Lisa's leaving drinks. Think I may go. Although, it'll be underage drinking :O how naughty of me! I miss my Berryden chums. Hope to see them all soon though. Didn't realise how many of them that I actually got on with so well until I left!

Don't really know what else to say ...

Much love,
Emma
xxxx

No more brave faces

I promised yesterday that I'd have a better topic to blog about. But, I'm feeling pretty crap so it's going to be another dperessing blog. So, I'll apologise in advance. I'm going to try to stop blogging about that guy after this blog. I'll try to blog happier blogs after this.

I'll start on a lighter note though:
I had quite a good laugh at school today. I was very hyper fourth period and at lunch. I'm sure Lauren and Ashleigh had a right good laugh when I killed my fist. I was spinning my arm and I was about to ask them how far they think I'd fly spining my arms the way I was doing it ...thats when I full force smacked my hand off of the ledge ... It fucking hurt. I also had a right good laugh in the common room and then in English: The things Mrs Fulton comes away with are legendary, I'm going to miss her for sure when I leave. That's another thing I'm not to keen about - leaving school. It's rapidly approaching. Help?!

Forbzee:
She's still in London. It was the first day of judging for the competition today. I heard that 250.000 turned up. I'm sure she did well though. I wish her all the best of luck for the remainder of the competition. She can do it, I'm sure. Not going to lie ... I miss her.

Jonathon:
Anyone who doesn't know, Jonathon was my first love but thankfully I grew out of it. Not that long ago, to be honest. But this pain in the arse has re-appeared in my life and he's annoying me already. After everything that he did he thinks he can just come waltzing back into my life as though nothing ever happened ... you thought wrong, boy. Just leave. I'm done with you. I'm done with you for good, after what you did you're lucky that I haven't punched you yet. It's not often that I can say I truly dislike someone. I honestly never want to see you again. You ruined some of the best days of my life, thanks.

My (actually he's not mine, now) Boy:
I saw you with her tonight. My heart sunk. I've finally had to accept it. You're gone. You've moved on. Well, you've moved back. You're back with her. I know this time I've lost you, lost you for good. I honestly hate it. I wish I hadn't been so naive, so stupid, I presumed that I'd never push you away enough until you turned your back on me completely. But, here I stand watching you leave ... with her. I can't bare it. I know that it's all down to me. I was stupid. I was immature. I cheated. I ruined it. I lost the only guy who has truly loved me, loved me for who I was. Yes, you weren't innocent either but I blame myself for that. I convinced myself that you'd never leave me, you'd always be mine, you'd always be my best friend. How wrong could I have been? You said we'd always be friends but even that, I managed to fuck that up too. Everyone that knows the story believes that you were just childish. I know otherwise. I know that it was all self-inflicted. I have never been more regretful in my life. I guess it's just something I have to live with ... I lost the best thing that ever happened to me and it was all of my own doing. I'm sorry. Goodbye.

Right now as people can probably tell I feel pretty rubbish. Music normal helps to pull me out of this mood but its drowning me deeper. He usually saves me when it gets too much but he's no where to be found. My best friend would normally be here to offer her support but even she's busy - I understand though - who am I to expect someone to help me. I'll have to pull myself out of it, I'm sure I'll manage. I was born a survivor. I wont let this ruin me.

I've also been thinking a lot about my Granda. I've been writing a personal reflective essay about him. There's not a day that goes by without me thinking of him. I miss him. I miss him more than I thought I ever would. I want to see him, just one last time. I want him to reassure me, to tell me that he's okay. That he's enjoying "afterlife". I want to reassured that he hasn't forgotten about me. I love you Granda.
R.I.P 15/05/33 - 02/01/02. Gone but NEVER forgotten.

As I said yesterday I love Adele (the singer). Her music is lovely. Probably responsible for making me feel worse but I still love it, regardless.

Much Love,
Emma
xxxx