Day 03 - Suffering

I was right. As I said yesterday …

I'm suffering from a hangover. Never again am I drinking, well, not 'til next weekend.

So, last night/ this morning I have been thinking about what I was going to blog about. I could spend hours talking about last night 'cause it was so good or I could discuss how much I love those 4 girls: I call them my best friends or I could discuss how am missing him – yes the anon guy again – or I could just blog about what comes to my mind … I've gone for the latter: that will probably contain everything I've just went through, or maybe it wont, we'll see. I'll warn any person reading this: This WILL NOT be good. Thinking while hungover first thing on a sunday morning is hell.

There has been this one song, it's been stuck in my head for a couple of days and I'm not sure why, I haven't heard it in months … well, apart from now 'cause I've put it on 'cause it was stuck in my head. This song happens to be The climb – Miley Cyrus. Certain lyrics of it plague my mind:

I can almost see it

The dream I'm dreaming

But there's a voice inside my head saying

“You'll never reach it”

I guess that this probably has to do with university. I wasn't sure that I'd be accepted – that I'd be good enough – turns out I wasn't for certain choices but surprisingly enough I got a conditional to study Politics and International Relations at Aberdeen University – on the condition I attend summer school and successfully pass: I may not get in but here's hoping – You might think I'm mad for wanting to study Politics. I'd agree. But it's something I thoroughly enjoy, believe it or not. I'm worried that If I don't get it I wont have any prospects. I guess that's why that specific lyrics have been haunting me.

On a lighter note. I adore my friends. All of them. Especially my four best friends. A message for them, although the probably wont read this:

You guys make my life easier, seriously. We spend hours laughing at nothing. We sit talking for hours about nothing. We spend hours doing nothing. But, believe it or not, no matter what we do I always have the time of my life. I LOVE YOU GUYS.

P.S Thanks for last night.

Here I go again … My anon guy. All I have to say is I MISS YOU. Miles can separate us. People can stand in our way but they can't stop these feelings. I LOVE YOU. People say I was stupid to let myself fall for a “player” like you. Firstly, how could I have prevented myself. Secondly, what right to say you're a “player”? They have no right. Not one of them. Yes, you have a history. But, don't we all? As far as I can see you're not “playing” me. But, even if you were … I'd still love you.

I don't care what anybody has to say. We stupidly fell in love. So what? I'm having the time of my life … well, when I get to be with you, I do. You are my knight in shining armour. One day … one day, they'll accept us and let us live our lives … together. I LOVE YOU.

Looking in the sky, I can see your face

And then I know right were I fit in

Take me, make me, you know I'll always be in love with you

Right 'til the end

That lyrics say it all.

That's enough for me. Back to bed I go: I think. I can't cope with this hangover.

Much love,

Emma xxxx